My au pair journey:the pivotal moment in my life💖

Sometimes in life you are presented with an opportunity to do something which at the time may not seem hugely significant but in fact turns out to be a pivotal moment in your life. Au pairing in China with LoPair was that moment for me.😍

It was not that the prospect of spending my summer in China was an insignificant one - far from it. Ever since I was very young, I took an interest in China, with its wildly complex language, its aura of mysticism stemming from Chinese mythology, architecture and the murmurs I’d heard of magical places like the Great Wall of China. It was a foreign land steeped in a sense of mystery and wonder. Suffice to say, when a classmate at university told me one morning about LoPair’s summer Educare programme, I was very intrigued at the possibility of travelling to Asia for the first time, leaving my boring part-time job behind.  🛫🛫🛫

Yet, I still could not anticipate the impact this cultural exchange would have on me. Nowadays, I tend to demarcate my life into two sections: pre-China and post-China. Let me tell you why and how it went.

The application process was all very easy. I had meetings with LoPair’s liaison officer who helped me to fill out the relevant documentation. I was given help with the visa application process and all that was left to do on the admin side of things was to go to the nearest embassy to hand in the correct paperwork. I was quickly matched with my host family with whom I then had a video call to see if we were the right match. I was expecting it to be a lot more challenging and a bit scary but it was surprisingly laidback and relaxed. Before I knew it, I was packing my bags and heading for the airport.

I arrived in Shanghai airport along with another au pair and we were greeted by a member of the LoPair team who helped us find our bus connection to Hangzhou. I instantly fell asleep on the bus and woke up to the site of Hangzhou’s modern skyscrapers passing me by, I felt like I had fallen asleep during a movie and woken up in the middle of the finale as I strained my neck to get my first eager glimpse of the bright lights of this exciting city. It was exhilarating.

After a night’s sleep in a hotel, we were taken to LoPair’s offices in Hangzhou for training. This was an excellent way to settle any nerves, getting ideas and resources for how to teach our siblings English and how to best communicate with our host family. In reflection, this part of the process was not only essential for making things easier and more fun for both us and the children we would be au pairing for, but actually it was the first part of the transformation I undertook during this experience. The day was full of information but we got to enjoy a nice lunch followed by a trip to Hangzhou’s most famous site, West Lake! This was my first real taste of China, the buzz of the crowded streets, old women playing mahjong in the park and, of course, the majestic West Lake where a thin layer of mist was poised gracefully above the water, adding to the drama of it all.

After a day-and-a-half of training, we took a bullet train from Hangzhou to Beijing. This was another first for me, as the Chinese countryside passed us by at 347km/h! 🚄The journey, despite us covering almost 800 miles, took just 4 hours and was very peaceful and smooth.

When we arrived, our host families came to greet us and pick us up. This was my first step in assimilating into this new family life as we drove back in their car to what would be my home for the summer. The sun was shining and the air was an enrapturing mix of the warmth of the hot climate and the anticipation of what lay ahead this summer. Things felt very normal straight away as I arrived in my host family’s lovely home in a beautiful gated community nearby Beijing Zoo. I met my new sibling, Stephen, a seven-year-old boy who loved football – a passion we both share!

I had plenty of time with Stephen as I helped him improve his English, assisted him with his school work and kept him engaged. While there were times where I was actively sitting him down and teaching him English (helping him to spell and read and correcting his grammar), most of the time he would learn through immersion and a sort of osmosis. There is a consensus that this is in fact the best way for a child to learn English and I quickly noticed an improvement in his English the more time we spent together. This also meant that although I had a contract of 35-hours per week of contact time with Stephen, the time together was very enjoyable and did not feel like work at all. Our host family would sometimes take us on errands or take us somewhere Stephen enjoyed to play and have fun. I’ll be honest when I say that being able to act like a child again was an absolute joy. This is when it dawned on me that not only has our host family signed up for the summer Educare programme to help their child improve their English, but that having an older brother, especially one from an entirely different background, was incredibly beneficial in shaping their child into a more well-rounded human being who could communicate more effectively, knew more about the world and had a wide variety of skills and experiences to draw upon. I gained a better understanding of what it was like to nurture a child into becoming a better human being and in doing so, I realised that I too was becoming a better human being. I gained an understanding about a culture vastly different from my own, an appreciation of a different family dynamic and I got to look at the world through the eyes of a child growing up in a different environment, with different opinions and ambitions for life.

That’s not to say that it was all plain sailing. There were some moments where Stephen was being a little bit misbehaved or he would struggle to deal with his feelings. Once again though, this allowed me to develop as a person as I learned how to improve my patience, communication and ability to empathise and understand a child. Naturally, these moments tended to come more towards the beginning of my stay and towards the end were very seldom – demonstrating the growth that both of us had made together. On my final day of being an au pair in Beijing, I will always remember Stephen blocking my exit with his arms to stop me from leaving. It was a very sad but touching moment, affirming the hard work that I had put in to help teach, entertain and support him over the summer. We made sure to keep in touch via WeChat after I had returned home and it was a delight to see him still sporting the football tops that I had taken over for him as a gift!  

Indeed, it wasn’t just Stephen in this equation, I had become a part of a family. I spoke often with his mum and dad, who did not speak English as well as Stephen, but we got by thanks to a combination of their basic English vocabulary, my basic Mandarin skills, and our resident interpreter, Stephen. We ate dinner together every evening; it was during this summer where I relinquished my fussy eating habits, conquered how to use chopsticks and enjoyed copious amounts of delicious, homemade food. In the UK, you would struggle to find and pay for Chinese food as good as this. For me, it was a daily routine. I got to participate and observe in their wholesome family dynamic, one which I came to learn focused very much on the wellbeing and development of their cherished son. Sometimes, my host family would treat us to an indulgent meal at the Shangri-La restaurant in Beijing, a high-end, all-you-can-eat buffet with cuisine from all over the world. This was a great way to connect with the family and get to know the parents on a more adult level. I always came away from that restaurant feeling revived and full of life.

I should also mention that on occasional Sundays, LoPair would host organised trips and family meet-ups where my fellow au pairs would come along with their siblings to take part in a new activity. These were often cultural activities and really enjoyable.  

As I said before, I had 35 hours of contact time with Stephen but I also had one day off per week to do as I pleased as well as time off during the evenings and two mornings per week for Mandarin classes. I mentioned earlier that I have always been fascinated by the Chinese language and so this was another benefit that I really enjoyed and I was surprised at just how quickly my Mandarin was improving. This was also a great way to meet up with the other au pairs and make new friends.

Thursday was my day off and I spent it with some of the other au pairs making lifelong memories. Whenever I am reminded of that summer, I look back with a sense of misty-eyed nostalgia, the long sunny days in the Beijing sunshine immersing ourselves in a completely new world was endlessly stimulating. Among the many things we got up to, we visited Tiananmen Square, the Temple of Heaven and the Forbidden Palace and spent hours at some of Beijing’s most beautiful parks.

About a week before the end of the programme, I was allowed to take a few days to go on a trip to visit Shanghai with some other au pairs who had also come to the end of the programme. This was another unforgettable experience as I sampled a different side to China, with Shanghai enjoying a more cosmopolitan feel and boasting a glittering skyline. I have still to this day to visit a more enjoyable art exhibition than the one I did in the People’s Park and I also hold fond memories of looking across to the Bund in the evening, just taking it all in with a sense of awe and wonderment.

The trip to Shanghai rounded off what was the most enriching summer of my whole life and sometimes I wonder if I will ever be as happy as that again. Like I said at the beginning, I tend to demarcate my life into pre-China and post-China because of how profoundly impacted I was by the whole experience. I made deep connections with the people I met, I learned lots of new skills and I felt like gained a deeper level of consciousness to my life, with greater clarity on what the world could offer. I fell in love with China and I have LoPair to thank for that.

Travelling is something that I firmly believe everyone should do at least once, but LoPair’s Educare programme was more than just travelling. It was the chance to put myself in a position that would challenge my pre-existing beliefs about myself and the world and evolve more in one summer as a person than I would have done in years back home. It couldn’t have been possible without the fantastic work of the LoPair team who put care and effort into making this the cultural exchange that it is.